My first job rejection occurred last week. It felt like the girl I had just met, kinda sorta maybe liked, like like-liked, and just maybe had a crush on, had just informed me that "it" wasn't working. Wait... what? Are you sure? (Fast-paced brain functioning) Well, can't we work it out? I didn't know you felt that way? Hold on, what can I do to make it better? You... are... my... everythingggggggggggggggg (sound trails off into darkness.)
I had high hopes for a job with the financial department at ski resort in a place called Incline Village on Lake Tahoe. I had spoken with a very nice lady on the phone 2 weeks beforehand and told her about my situation, desires and ambitions. She was highly receptive, and said that she'd be interested in hiring me to help create, and ensure accuracy within, the annual report for the mountain, which takes about 5 months to complete. This would have given me great experience with financial statements and budget constraints, in an area of the country that had a room available with my name on it, with a bunch of my best friends who were already there. The Finance Director lady said that she only needed to get it approved by the mountain's Controller, at which point she'd let me know when I would need to show up.
My excitement meter had risen to Mount Everest levels. This would be fun, stable, and give me good work experience. I'd even get to drive cross-country, a kid with a dream. Also, it's lack of permanence meant that I'd be back east when spring rolled around. I'd even begun to tell people that I had landed a sick job in an exotic place called California. In hindsight, telling people was my biggest mistake of all. Couldn't I see how badly I had jinxed myself?
The e-mail finally came. It was short. Too short. Gmail lets you read the first 10 or so words of the e-mail, and, glancing over them, my eyes focused in on the word "unfortunately." My heart sunk. I opened the e-mail to read that she was "unfortunately" back at work from a week vacation! YES! a lifeline! But the rest of the e-mail reported that the Controller had decided that there wasn't enough room in the budget for me, and that she was very sorry that it didn't work out. I think I read that e-mail about 4 times in 30 seconds. She wished me well, and said that if I ever got out there that we should meet up. If I ever got out there? I CAN ONLY GET OUT THERE IF YOU GIVE ME A DAMN JOB YOU SLOPPY SALLY!!!!!! I was actually frozen in time. It could have been 30 seconds or 30 minutes, I just sorta stared at the computer screen as my heart began to pound in my chest. Eventually I sort of rolled onto my bed and just laid there. Back to square 1. Time to reboot.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Do All Post's Need a Title?
Glancing over my previous posts in this blog has made me realize something I've unintentionally done, and that is to belittle the waiting profession and restaurant industry. Let me clarify this: Waiting tables is emotionally draining and surprisingly difficult. Little intellect is required of it's professionals, but, to be a good waiter or waitress, you need a great memory and incredible organizational skills. Those who work in the industry are smart in their own way, a way that was never my particular strength. Part of my poking fun at waiting tables is my own insecurity at being an extremely average waiter. My apologies.
Where am I now in my job search? I don't really know. When will it end? Someday. I AM, however, quitting my waiting job in 2 weeks time, which signifies the end of my stay at home and the scariness of a move elsewhere with little more intact than I started.
If this post feels melancholic or gloomy, than it's done a nice job of summing up my emotional state. There's so much uncertainty going forward that it's difficult to feel like I've accomplished anything. If a positive situation does come about, it will feel like I've settled for less than I should have. There's something dangerous about finding the first real job. This very well could be the most important decision I'll ever make. Any serious misstep could affect my future happiness in life. Who knows. It's too difficult a concept to try and grasp right now. Just gotta keep moving forward.
Where am I now in my job search? I don't really know. When will it end? Someday. I AM, however, quitting my waiting job in 2 weeks time, which signifies the end of my stay at home and the scariness of a move elsewhere with little more intact than I started.
If this post feels melancholic or gloomy, than it's done a nice job of summing up my emotional state. There's so much uncertainty going forward that it's difficult to feel like I've accomplished anything. If a positive situation does come about, it will feel like I've settled for less than I should have. There's something dangerous about finding the first real job. This very well could be the most important decision I'll ever make. Any serious misstep could affect my future happiness in life. Who knows. It's too difficult a concept to try and grasp right now. Just gotta keep moving forward.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
The Bad Economy
I drove to the restaurant Saturday morning listening to a Wall Street Journal podcast that covered most major news of the preceding week. It went through the Dow's movements, China's unfair yuan valuation, yada yada yada. I slouched in my driver's seat as mundane stories rolled out of the little black cube. Then I heard a story that piqued my interest. Unemployment rates! As soon I heard those two keywords, I elongated my spine and improved my posture as to better comprehend the words being emitted from my static-laced speakers. I assumed it would be more bad news about the job market, but, to my surprise, the report stated that job prospects had risen sharply and the unemployment rate had fallen! Hallelujah! My reaction? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
You see, there's an interesting dichotomy associated with my job search in a slumping labor market. I want a job. I want an entry level job in accounting or financial services (ok, sports teams, I'll work for you too if I HAVE to) in New York City. I want to learn how these organizations operate, what services they provide, and how these services effect inviduals and companies that use them. I want to be good at my job. But at the same time, virtual unemployment(restaurant work requires the IQ of the pizzas being served) is, well, easy. It's not exactly difficult to wake up whenever you'd like to do whatever you'd like however you would like to do it. So while the job market is weak, I can prance around town with a verifiable excuse for my unemployement. I even receive pity on occasion for my situation. But if the job market were to come back, what excuse would I have? What if I could't find a job when there were plenty available? On one hand, I'm excitedly applying for jobs, but on the other hand, I'm using the bad economy as an excuse to not look hard enough.
I love this idea that the economy is bad. It becomes the foremost excuse for just about anything. Lindsay Lohan's back in rehab? Well, she can't find work with this bad economy. Ford's closing down 175 dealerships? That damned economy. Hitler's ghost has risen from the dead and is waiting in the Rhineland to resume his oppressive regime? Stupid move on his part, that job isn't available in this economy. There is a large part of me that feels like our culture has become one reliant upon excuses, and the "bad economy" of this era is serving as the primary get-out-of-jail-free card.
You see, there's an interesting dichotomy associated with my job search in a slumping labor market. I want a job. I want an entry level job in accounting or financial services (ok, sports teams, I'll work for you too if I HAVE to) in New York City. I want to learn how these organizations operate, what services they provide, and how these services effect inviduals and companies that use them. I want to be good at my job. But at the same time, virtual unemployment(restaurant work requires the IQ of the pizzas being served) is, well, easy. It's not exactly difficult to wake up whenever you'd like to do whatever you'd like however you would like to do it. So while the job market is weak, I can prance around town with a verifiable excuse for my unemployement. I even receive pity on occasion for my situation. But if the job market were to come back, what excuse would I have? What if I could't find a job when there were plenty available? On one hand, I'm excitedly applying for jobs, but on the other hand, I'm using the bad economy as an excuse to not look hard enough.
I love this idea that the economy is bad. It becomes the foremost excuse for just about anything. Lindsay Lohan's back in rehab? Well, she can't find work with this bad economy. Ford's closing down 175 dealerships? That damned economy. Hitler's ghost has risen from the dead and is waiting in the Rhineland to resume his oppressive regime? Stupid move on his part, that job isn't available in this economy. There is a large part of me that feels like our culture has become one reliant upon excuses, and the "bad economy" of this era is serving as the primary get-out-of-jail-free card.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)