Goodnight Moon

Each night, there exists a minute or two when I lay down for sleep on my back in my warm bed, tuck my hands behind my head, and melt into an utter state of relaxation. Not until recently have I experienced this moment of bliss. It's as if the weight of decisions made that day leaks out of my body and adds to the pillowy softness of my mattress. It's a wonderful feeling, although it comes at a very odd point in time.

Why would this be happening now? I've been bitching and moaning for the past 3 months about jobs, living arrangements and just about anything else I can think of. To be honest, I'm at peace with my situation. I've somehow been able to enjoy the minimal amount of work I do and not felt the burden of finding something better. And instead of being scared of the last sentence, I'm okay with reading it over again. Some things aren't meant to be pushed that hard, and this job search is one of them.

What's the use of pushing so hard for something more when I'm content with what I've got? Eventually, I know for a fact that the contentedness I feel now will drift away, and at that point I will more doggedly pursue a new location and a new line of work. But until then, setting limited weekly quotas for such onerous activities as applying for jobs, researching grad schools, studying GMAT's and networking leaves me most at peace.

And it all culminates in the minute or two when I compress the day into my head before bed. I summarize it and recreate it and look forward to the next one. Life ain't so bad.